Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is any sexual activity or behavior that happens without full, freely given, informed consent. Sexual abuse can occur between intimate partners, family members, caregivers, or others in a position of trust or power. Sexual abuse is not limited to physical force or penetration. It can also include pressure, coercion, manipulation, threats, intimidation, exploitation, or sexual acts committed when a person is unable to consent.

Sexual abuse is often part of a broader pattern of control. An abusive person may use sex to punish, humiliate, isolate, or dominate another person. They may ignore a refusal, pressure someone until they give in, or treat sex as something they are entitled to in a relationship. Survivors may feel confused because the abuse may happen alongside affection, apologies, or promises to change. Even when there is no physical injury, the harm can be severe and long-lasting.

  • Sexual abuse can include:

    • Unwanted sexual touching, kissing, or fondling.

    • Pressure, guilt, threats, or manipulation to get someone to have sex.

    • Forced sexual acts, including rape or attempted rape.

    • Ignoring a partner’s refusal or safe words.

    • Sexual activity with someone who is asleep, intoxicated, unconscious, or otherwise unable to consent.

    • Refusing to use condoms or sabotaging birth control.

    • Coercing someone to watch pornography or participate in sexual acts they do not want.

    • Recording or sharing sexual activity without consent.

    • Making degrading sexual comments, insults, or demands.

    • Using sex as a tool for punishment, control, or intimidation.

    Sexual abuse can also happen in ways that are harder to recognize. For example, an abusive partner may say that being in a relationship means consent is automatic, or that one partner “owes” the other sex. That is not consent. Consent must be freely given every time, and it can be withdrawn at any point.

  • People often think sexual abuse only counts if it involves force or a stranger, but that is not true. Sexual abuse commonly happens within relationships, and many survivors know the person who harmed them. Abuse can be hidden, minimized, or framed as normal relationship behavior, which makes it harder to identify and report.

    It is also important to understand that survivors may not respond in ways people expect. They may freeze, comply to stay safe, avoid disclosure, or remain in the relationship for financial, emotional, or safety reasons. None of that means they wanted it or consented. The responsibility always belongs to the person who used pressure, force, or coercion.

North Coast Rape Crisis Team

24/7 Hotline: (707) 445-2881