Safety Planning

• Teach your children when, how, and who to contact if there’s an emergency. This might include trusted friends, family members, neighbors, or local services.

• If possible, help them understand when it’s safest to leave the home as soon as trouble begins, and identify safe places they can go. Create this plan in advance with the trusted people your children can turn to in a crisis.

• Identify a safe space in your home where they can go when they feel scared, along with a calming activity or object they can focus on to feel secure.

• Make sure your children understand that they should never try to step in during violent moments, even if they feel the urge to protect someone.

• Lastly, plan ahead for what you’ll do if your children share any part of your safety plan with your partner, and remind yourself never to blame them for how they respond to an abusive situation.

It’s completely understandable to worry about what might happen to your pets if you decide to leave an abusive relationship. Including your pets in your safety plan helps ensure that every member of your family has a path to safety.

• Start by gathering proof that your pets belong to you. Make sure they’re vaccinated and licensed where you live, and that all registrations are in your name. If they aren’t, take steps to get that information updated.

• Whenever possible, try not to leave your pets alone with your abusive partner.

• If your pet has a microchip, verify that your partner isn’t listed as one of the emergency contacts.

• As you prepare to leave, reach out to trusted friends, family members, or your veterinarian to see if anyone can care for your pet temporarily. If that’s not possible, look into organizations that help domestic violence survivors with safe housing for pets, or connect directly with your local domestic violence or animal shelter. You can also search for nearby shelters through the Humane Society website.

• When you leave, take the essentials your pet will need — food, any medications, copies of their medical and vaccination records, and contact information for vets or shelters.

• If you had to leave your pet behind, reach out for local help — for example, contact animal control or nearby shelters to ask if they can assist or check on your pet’s safety.

Digital devices and online accounts can be tools for staying connected, but they can also be used for monitoring or control in abusive situations. Taking steps to protect your privacy and digital safety can help you stay secure as you plan and move forward.

• Start by reviewing your devices for signs of monitoring. If you think your phone, computer, or tablet may have spyware, avoid using them to research safety plans or communicate about leaving. Use a safe device instead — a friend’s phone, a computer at work, or one at a public library.

• Update passwords on all your accounts, especially email, social media, and financial services. Choose strong, unique passwords that your partner wouldn’t guess, and avoid using shared recovery emails or phone numbers.

• Turn off location sharing and check privacy settings on social media and mobile apps. Remove any connected devices (such as smart home systems or GPS trackers) that your partner might access remotely.

• If you think your partner has access to your online banking or digital payment tools, contact your bank to set up additional security measures or new accounts.

• When you leave, consider changing your phone number, getting a new device, and setting up new accounts using different credentials.