A restraining order is a court order filed in civil court that is meant to keep one person from harassing another. It is not the same as “filing charges” and you don’t need law enforcement or a lawyer to start the process. There are different types of restraining orders, but we are referring specifically to ones that deal with domestic violence. The laws around DV are different than for family members or strangers, employees, etc. There are a lot of great places on the web that can help you with the process, but we like www.womenslaw.org the best. It is a great site and will answer most of your questions. You can either download the forms through this site, get them from the court house, a Victim Witness or domestic violence agency.
In general, there are a few things you need to know when you are deciding whether or not to get one:
1. You do not need to have had any physical abuse or have called the police to get a restraining order. You need only to really feel afraid of the person and be able to clearly explain to a judge why you are afraid. Remember, most abuse is emotional. For example, if you are afraid that if you leave your partner, he or she will stalk you and threaten to harm you, or your children because that is what they have said they would do over and over, you can file a restraining order to help keep you safe while you negotiate custody, moving out or a divorce.
2. When you ask for the paperwork, you get a HUGE stack of paper. DON’T PANIC! You only need to fill out a few of those forms at a time throughout the process and either your local Family Court office, Victim Witness office or Domestic Violence agency will help you do it for free. In most situations, you do not need a lawyer.
3. You will have to go court and your abuser will be there. You have to go to all the hearings or your case
will be dropped and you will have to re-file.
This is a hard question to answer. In theory, yes. For most people, the ordeal of going to court and the threat of jail is enough to get them to leave you alone or begin to act more civilly. For other people, it is only a piece of paper and they are going to do what they are going to do. There is no way to predict how someone will react. Even if they say they won’t pay any attention to it, it is usually just a bluff and they do end up following the RO and you get to move on with your life. In the end, in most cases, it is very helpful to have that RO. Even if you think they won’t pay any attention to it, having one can help you get some benefits you wouldn’t get otherwise like housing assistance or victim’s compensation. But in the end, you are the expert in your situation and will have to decide what is best for you and your family.
There are a few important things to consider:
1. While a violation of an RO is a felony and can mean jail time, the police can only address a crime they have actually witnessed themselves. So for example, if your abuser is not supposed to be near your house, but you keep seeing them drive by, unless you have pictures to prove it, the police can’t do anything if they don’t see it. Document all the ways you think your abuser finds to violate the RO and contact your local DA’s, DV agency or Victim Witness office for assistance.
2. The burden of making sure all the paperwork is properly filed is on you. You should carry a copy with you wherever you go and make sure that everyone who may need to know about it has a copy. This includes schools, doctor’s offices, your employer. Keep one in your bag, your car and your house. You can also ask a DV agency to keep one on file for you. Law enforcement in your area should have a copy as well, especially if you move to a new area.
If you have questions or concerns, talk it out with an advocate before you file.
All of the acronyms and terms for legal matters can be confusing. We are not trained lawyers and this is not meant to be legal advice. For specific information, please seek professional legal assistance.
EPO = Emergency Protective Order
An EPO can only be obtained through law enforcement after a crime has been committed. It can only be obtained after the officer has consulted with a judge. It is good for approximately five days and is usually very specific in what it covers. It does not permanently change custody, child support or rights to housing. It is meant to instruct the abuser to stay away from the abused person long enough for that person to obtain a Temporary Restraining Order through the Court system. You do not need an EPO to obtain a TRO.
TRO = Temporary Restraining Order
A TRO is the first step in obtaining a more permanent Restraining Order (RO). Details on how to obtain one and links for assistance are found on the next page in this section. And it does not accuse anyone of a crime. In general, a TRO takes about 3-5 days to obtain but is not made permanent until it is ordered so by a judge at a hearing. You must go to all hearing dates or the order will be dropped and you will have to re-apply. Anyone can file for one, including your abuser against you, which is pretty common, unfortunately. You don’t need a police report or any physical injuries to obtain a TRO.
RO = Restraining Order
Details on how to obtain one and links for assistance are found on the next page in this section. A RO is the final, approved agreement of the TRO which has been ordered by a judge after the hearing. It does not accuse anyone of a crime and will be in effect for 1-3 years, as determined by a judge. A violation of the order by the restrained person is a felony.
CPO = Criminal Protective Order
A CPO is ordered by the court as part of a criminal trial. It carries more weight than a RO because it is usually part of someone’s probation or parole. In most cases, the victim is consulted by the prosecuting attorney’s or a victim’s advocate to determine the terms of the CPO, but not always. It tends to be permanent or for the duration of the probation. If you have been involved in a criminal trial, you should contact the DA or Victim Witness agency nearest you to determine if there was a CPO issued for you.